the Chinese version comes from a dear friend, quite beautifully written, the English is my translation
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妳發現，年紀越大，越是很難和另外一個人在一起。
原因不是因為條件。妳還是很多人喜歡，和年華正茂的時候一樣。妳活得比以前更好，開始能喝出紅酒的不同。妳不再像年輕的時候一樣任性，動不動就發脾氣。妳把自己當成在投資的藝術品，運動、保養、化妝，讓妳看不出來年紀。
也不是因為對愛情死心。妳去參加朋友的婚禮，想到新人好不容易走到這裡，妳總會紅了眼睛。妳經過前男友租過的房子，想起妳們一起在Ikea買的家具。朋友們想要幫妳介紹，妳會精心打扮出席。
妳卻一直都單身。每年站在生日蛋糕前，都希望身邊有另外一個人一起許願。一些客氣的場面，有人來搭訕的場合，沒有人相信妳是單身。他們給了一個省事的結論：妳太挑了，希望妳降低標準。妳在心裡面笑：所以是其他人都不挑？
可是妳自己知道，為什麼不能好好談一場戀愛。就是因為，妳太清楚了自己是怎樣的一塊料，所以不能再輕而易舉的把自己交出去。就像是，有一天妳發現跌倒以後的傷口，會開始留下疤痕，妳走路不再大步跨出去。
因為，妳慣性太強、記性太好。妳認識一個人很簡單，忘記一個人很困難。妳曾經心滿意足的閉上眼睛，讓妳愛的人帶妳去任何地方，最後差點回不來。所以不能再失去方向感。
於是妳就變得膽小了。以前妳喜歡男生有幽默感，現在妳在乎安全感。以前妳打電話找不到人就拼命的打，現在妳發了簡訊沒有回應，睡覺前就關機。以前妳最有興趣的話題是對方的過去，現在妳先關心這是不是一份有未來的感情。
所以，週末的晚上，妳寧願和一群朋友喝酒，也不問約會對象今天有沒有空。妳早就已經下班，還在公司觀察朋友的MSN和Facebook動態。妳安慰自己，有朋友也很好，一個人生活也很好。妳忘記了當另外一個人女朋友的感覺，被攜伴的時候，要怎麼介紹自己。
只是，妳不是做了決定要單身，就像妳也沒有計畫過要用哪一隻手寫字。不過是既然如此了那就適應。妳想要有人一起去旅行，一起去看讓妳哭哭啼啼的電影。妳想和那樣的人說自己準備好了，只是沒有勇氣，只是請對方多點耐心。妳想說不再需要太多驚喜，在心裡等的是一份相依為命的感情，抬起頭來相視而笑，安心的生活，如此而已。
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You realized, the longer you live, the harder it is to be with someone else.
Not because you are less desirable. You are just as popular as in your younger years. You actually live a better life now; you appreciate the subtleties of fine wine. You can control your temper; have learned to treat yourself more delicately, like an object of art – with exercise, skin care, and makeup – to defuse nature’s signs on your face.
Not because you have grown out of love. You still get tear-eyed at weddings, knowing the winding journeys of the new couple. You still remember the IKEA trips with your ex. You still glamour up on dates set up by friends.
You remain single. Every birthday, you long for a special someone to be by your side. On many a social occasion, few believe you are still by yourself. They sum it up into an easy answer – lower your standards. You laugh inside – does no one else maintain his or her standards?
Yet you know; you heart knows, why you couldn’t settle. You see yourself clearly now, clear enough to know you cannot give your heart away too easily. You have wounds from the past, you are walking more carefully now.
Because, your mind has inertia, you remember too much. It’s easy to make new acquaintances, much harder to forget an old flame. You used to be content with being led by the one you love, until you almost couldn’t find your way back. You cannot risk losing yourself again.
So you take more precautions. You used to like boys who are funny, now you prefer safety. You used to chain-dial when you cannot reach him, now you turn off the phone at night. You used to find tremendous interest in his past, now you ask first if there is a future.
Therefore, on a weekend evening, you much rather drink with friends, than ask if he is free. You stay late in the office, not for work, but to check friends’ MSN and Facebook status. You are thankful for your friends; you try to enjoy life on your own. You start to forget how it feels to be someone’s girlfriend, how to introduce yourself when you are someone’s date.
Except that, none of this is by choice, just as you did not choose which of your hands to hold a pen. It is what it is. You sincerely want someone to travel with, to watch sappy movies with. You want to tell that person you are ready, but lack courage, so you ask for more of his patience. You no longer need too much excitement; your heart is searching for a connection that lasts, when you can look into each other’s eyes and smile, carry on with life, undisturbed, uncomplicated, just like that.
KG: 说的真好。我们自己可以过得很好。我们，和我们爱的朋友。所以我们寻找的不是一帖爱情的膏药来治疗我们的孤独与无助，不是一个“需要”而是一个“想要”的人，一个“锦上添花”的而不仅仅是“雪中送炭”的人，一份让我们再也不会想念精彩的的单身生活的感情……我们是多么执着的相信的女人啊。执着的没有道理，让人心疼，也让很多“过来人”摇头叹气，把我们当作失足少年来努力挽救。谢谢大家的帮助，只是，没有了这份执着，我也就丢了自己……
